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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2020 9:30:18 GMT -5
21470. I feel like I've been under appreciating Finland in many ways. The main reason I moved to UK was that I was so bored where I lived and I just found the music and the culture so much more interesting in UK. But I've now started to realise there are cool subcultures and ug stuff in Finland as well. I just didn't know where to look exactly.
I started following this weird meme page recently coz some Finnish guy I know from insta was sharing their posts and the humour was really atypical which I liked, and I noticed they were posting stuff about genres like suomisaundi (finnish subgenre of psytrance) and shoegaze, and also lots of casual drug references which isn't really common here. And today I saw someone commented "finnish spacemen 3" on a music clip where some 5yo kid plays guitar and sings in a really funny, sort of psychedelic way, and it made me realise there are actually really cool people here after all.
I think I just had to change my life a bit before I found the sort of people I had been looking for. That's another thing I don't regret about drugs. My friendships aren't built around them but they definitely opened doors for a lot of things.
Very alternative type of music and hallucinogens (which often go hand in hand) are both so rare interests in here that once you manage to get involved you suddenly notice there a lot more people like you which is cool. They're also the sort of people who hold similar political opinions with me which is good because Finland in general is quite nationalistic (I guess for a reason) but that often shows in a very negative way in people's political views and it's been one thing I've genuinely disliked about people here. That has kinda driven me to seek for alternative lifestyles hoping to find people who are different. The indie/alternative music scene and the student communities in Helsinki have been good places to start so that's where I like hanging out most.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 24, 2020 15:37:39 GMT -5
21471. Incredible respect for JMB, doubling down on the suit, now with helmet and gloves.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 24, 2020 17:17:02 GMT -5
I don't know what to say. Gavin Lang was one of my top 10 victories in an Inter Dominion final, I remember he was the first driver I ever bet on. This hurts, I know that Jean Dubois will probably cry given he was victorious over GL in his only drive of My Tribeca at Melton. Gavin, I may have been a punter but I feel like you were and are the only one who could stir emotions. Rest In Peace.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 24, 2020 19:35:20 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2020 7:22:16 GMT -5
21474. Ordered more interesting supplements. I honestly don't know if they're worth it at all, many of them probably aren't but I thought I'd at least try. These are the ones I picked up:
Lions Mane: Heard about this for the first time on /r/MDMA while reading about supplements that'd help to get the "magic" back. Promotes neurogenesis so it might be good for the neural growth, especially if I've already caused some damage that needs some repairing. Another reason why I wanted to try this is that I read a random comment where someone who had shaky hands was using it for a couple of months noticed that his hands were no longer shaky, even though that wasn't the reason he wasn't using it. This could be huge for me because that's a thing I've been struggling with all my life, to the point I'm pretty certain I have at least some kind of essential tremor.
Potassium: Just a hunch but I relate to many potassium deficiency symptoms so I can at least try to see if I start feeling better if I start using it regularly. That'll also help me with psychedelic use because I often get bad physical reactions to them, especially during the come up, with muscles tremoring and just general feeling of unease, and many people recommend potassium with them because its effects seem to counteract those side-effects. Potassium is a vasodilator so it makes sense it makes the effects of vasoconstrictors better.
N-Acetyl-Cysteine: This one I've already mentioned here but I'm now running out of the 180 capsules I bought and I have no reason to stop really. It's a precursor to the antioxidant glutathione which binds to the glutamate-site in your NMDA- and AMPA-receptors. And there's a reason to believe it's not just an antioxidant but also a neurotransmitter itself. Anyway, it seems to have a huge impact on your glutamate related to brain functioning; it helps to maintain the brain stability (equilibrium) and possesses anti-inflammatory properties. It also improves your liver and kidney functioning as well as your respiratory health (+ good for your immune system which especially now is useful).
Another interesting thing about is that since it helps to maintain the equilibrium in your brain, it's been shown to have strong anti-depressive and anti-anxiety qualities, and seems to work well for OCD especially. I've been under a lot of stress lately and I've been wondering how I'm holding it together at all and now I'm wondering if it's the NAC that's actually helped me in some ways lately. But even with all these positive effects the main reason I'm using it is that I want to "repair" my brain from mild MDMA abuse so everything it might do is just a bonus, but right now it seems quite worth it to me ngl.
Taurine: I'm not very familiar with this tbh but a little research suggests it does the same to peripheral nervous system as l-theanine does to central nervous system, so basically a relaxing effect. It seems to be good for your heart health as well and has plenty of other functions like antioxidation. The main reason I bought it is that NAC is actually a precursor to taurine so if I take them both at the same time, more NAC will turn to glutathione instead of taurine so I will get even more out of it. I'd probably be using taurine in combination with MDMA too since it's an antioxidant and prevents neurotoxicity from the MDMA caused free radicals.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 25, 2020 12:08:52 GMT -5
21475. Harry Cheadle, fuck off. Seriously though that roasting of Bazire who just raised 11,150 Euros in a week... 👎👎👎👎
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2020 20:04:59 GMT -5
21474.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2020 8:51:20 GMT -5
21476. My friend said I should tell him tomorrow whether I'd be moving with them to the house because they're trying to make the tenancy contract this week. Basically I could afford to pay the first month of rent already which is from June so I'd have plenty of time to sort my shit. But what if I'm somehow still without a job by the time I have to pay the next rent? I'm trying to sort my shit out with the dole office but I can't get any proper answers anytime soon because I'm quitting my studies in Scotland and they need some kind of explanation if they're going to give me any dole money and that whole process takes a while. I just don't want to be in the situation where I've made the fucking tenancy agreement and suddenly I don't have any income. I guess there are always some kind of jobs but... Fucking hell, why is adult life so hard
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 27, 2020 11:46:11 GMT -5
21477. Kilmore best: THEULTIMATE
Also, respect JMB. Always help who helped you.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 27, 2020 23:57:33 GMT -5
24178. RIP Laura Myllymaa. I'm not speculating but I think that this is trolling after the doping allegations. Happy now?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2020 16:24:22 GMT -5
21479. The flat where I'd be moving looks amazing. It has kinda vintage vibe but also it's just renovated and it's fucking huge. Also my flatmates seem chill. It turns out I'm probably the biggest "druggie" in the group, and I'm not even that bad, so I don't think I'd have problems with too much partying and shit. And if I feel like I want to have more serious fun there is another commune in the same building and I visited it again today and that's definitely the place for parties. The whole place is built for raves; blacklights, lasers, paintings, sound proofing, DJ/mixing desk, etc. The people are also really nice there and will be fun to get to know them better. I think this will be good for my social life. But yeah, still can't believe I'm moving to a fucking commune! Also I feel like my health problems are actually slowly fading after all, it won't happen quickly but now I feel like the surgery might not have caused extra problems like I first thought. It's just a really really long recovery, or at least it feels like it.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2020 17:01:01 GMT -5
21480. Also one of the girls was really interesting in a surprising way. We first met when she arrived at my friend's flat while I was there alone and after having a small chat she put this science video about our universe, constants, our lack of knowledge, multiverses, consciousness, etc. She then told me she probably gave me a bad first impression by showing some science stuff but I found it really cool.
She actually seemed really smart and also liked fixing cars which was kinda interesting. At one point when we were talking about MDMA she asked me if I take any protective supplements and I found out she was using stuff like alpha lipoic acid and ALCAR which was interesting coz I had the former as well and had considered buying ALCAR. She also knew how grapefruit juice blocks the enzyme that metabolises MDMA into MDA which prevents neurotoxicity. Apparently for her the grapefruit juice makes the biggest difference when it comes to recovering from the roll, and I found out from her that it also relieves the oxidative pressure inside your head. I mean, normal antioxidants take the hit from the free radicals as a protection but apparently grapefruit juice somehow lets out the pressure altogether. I actually felt like I had less knowledge about these things than her.
I introduced her to NAC though. She got curious when I told her it can possibly help to regain the magic, and she almost didn't even believe me but then said she wants to read more about it.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 30, 2020 0:08:29 GMT -5
21481. Best Pakenham 801 TRITON RISING
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 30, 2020 5:22:18 GMT -5
21481. Best Pakenham 801 TRITON RISING Trump card used Sunshine Coast 404 Clever Miss Gloucester Park Best: 606 BETTOR COPAGOODONE
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 30, 2020 7:46:13 GMT -5
21483. Just to clarify, if I use JED it's in victory of Jean-Etienne Dubois. Much easier to put down.
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Post by meanstreak on Apr 30, 2020 8:11:25 GMT -5
21484
I've been working from home since March 13 and I hate it
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Post by The Escapist on Apr 30, 2020 10:54:13 GMT -5
21485:
The only water in the forest is the River.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Apr 30, 2020 16:11:21 GMT -5
21486. Yeah because violence solves a pandemic aftermath YOU didn't have any thing in place for afterward Equestratis?
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Post by mystoryisgory on May 1, 2020 19:34:35 GMT -5
21487. "World music" is by far the worst, most reductive, undescriptive, and Western-centric name for a genre in existence. Thanks.
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Post by mystoryisgory on May 1, 2020 20:04:50 GMT -5
21488.
憲兵 警察 抓耙仔!!!! 國家 機器 獨裁者!!!! 我用青春佮伊拚 我用性命來輸贏!!!!!
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2020 21:53:34 GMT -5
21489. Hand me the drumstick Snare kick Blues call upon I knew myself in Into the spotlight Ecstasy feels so warm inside Till five hours later I am chewing Screwing myself with my hand
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2020 5:27:48 GMT -5
21490. Now I really understand why they call nitrous "hippie crack"... I used over 100 canisters last night, fucking hell. Oh well, I saw it as scientific experimentation. No regrets. Besides, they definitely gave me some new thoughts to think about. For some reason, I saw the consciousness as some sort of huge "motor" and all of us are connected to it. It almost looked like a driveshaft or something just spinning endlessly, like a spinning tunnel. Sometimes when I inhaled a big balloon I'd go out of sync with the frequency of our consciousness and it started feeling like the reality was collapsing. When that happened it was like my mind went to a reboot mode and I started spinning fast in a "wrong" speed while feeling like I was getting some kind of computer error and it kept accelerating until I was synced up with the same frequency of our universe again. There were a couple of times though when I wasn't sure I'd return anymore, like I went too far and saw too much but the price was that I had disconnected myself from the reality for good. One time I went to do a huge balloon in a dark room as opposed to the living room with my friends and when I came back to reality I forgot I had gone to the other room and I thought I had died or something coz everything was suddenly black and I was wondering where my friends are Even though this is probably all just my imagination as a coping mechanism to uneven chemical levels in my brain, I still found it really fascinating. For some reason, everytime with nitrous (when combined with some other stuff to potentiate them) I get this strong sense of feeling like our reality isn't very different from a computer program; a simulation. Who made it? I don't know, but there seems to be some sort of logical rules to it and its building blocks are based on frequencies? Everything is vibrating, everything has a certain frequency. It's the same for our consciousness too. Also probably why I was thinking of engines was because the nitrous made everything reverb so much that even when I came down the reverbation would stay in my hearing for minutes and even the sound of wind sounded like a big engine in the sky. You can actually hear lots of similar sounds in MBV's Loveless, I think the production of that album is really fascinating. Also one thing I can't get out of my head is that I felt like I actually heard some core sounds of the universe. I thought it was the song at first but it seems like every single song ends up making the same kind of sound, and it usually happened during the reboot/error part when I feel like I'm totally disconnecting. There was a female voice and certain beats that reminded me of rave music. It sounded really primitive and gave me strong feelings of deja vu. Weird stuff.
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on May 3, 2020 5:48:12 GMT -5
21491. (Not directed at anyone here) What the FUCK? Fuck you you piece of shit. Should have been hit repeatedly by The Goop as payback (I know Goop isn't violent but that is disgusting, what did the horse do to him?)
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Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on May 3, 2020 7:21:30 GMT -5
21492. Yeah like that's gonna fucking suddenly get me Elitlopp interested again. Björn, you have let me down and I am VERY disappointed you🤡🤡🤡🤡👺👹☠️🤥
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2020 19:21:12 GMT -5
21493. I was stupid for using ecstasy again last weekend, I didn't even really want to but I had an opportunity and I decided to say yes. And now the price is that I fucked up my brain chemistry once again just when it was starting to get better...
I don't really get bad comedowns, a proper alcohol hangover feels worse than the days after MDMA. But I realised that it does fuck up my mental health. Maybe I'm so used to depression that when it happens after using drugs I don't even pay attention to it because it's not a huge difference. But I've been feeling really good lately, my depression was totally gone and my mind felt clear, and then I used it last Friday and I just realised I'm depressed again. Nothing surprising but I'm kinda frustrated I did this to myself.
I don't even understand why I keep using it because it just doesn't work the same way anymore. The whole drug feels very shallow; the warmth is gone and all there is left is some forced stimulation. I totally ruined it because I couldn't control myself.
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