|
Post by Marissa on Oct 31, 2020 23:22:38 GMT -5
Honestly think I might kill myself soon. I know I've said this before, but it just keeps coming back. I just can't take any more of life giving me something to believe in, and then ripping it out of me and expecting me to carry on enthusiastically. I'm exactly where I started. No progress. Nothing. Just can't do it. Can't trust anything any more. Don't love my family because they remind me of previous pain. Everyone I've ever made a real friendship with has ripped my heart out. I hate my physical self, I'm sick of thinking my thoughts. Maybe it makes me weak but I honestly just think life is too cruel for me to handle and I'm not gonna be able to cope with it much longer. Mad to post this on an Oasis forum but I genuinely don't know what else to do right now. Not a fucking clue. Sorry everybody. hang in there. i spent a great portion of my life feeling this way and i know that everyone saying "it gets better" really doesn't mean that much to you in the moment. like, "the fuck it does." you can get through it, though. you really, really can. and life rewards you for it on the other side. there IS an other side. i don't know you, but i appreciate your existence. i would notice if you weren't here anymore. you can sit with yourself, face your pain, and heal yourself. it's difficult to begin, but once you dive in it's easier. as you heal, you can start to rise above pain - past, current, and future. you will look back and thank yourself. asking for help however you can manage it is the first step to healing, and you did that with this post. now take the next step and decide not to give up.
|
|
|
Post by tiger40 on Nov 1, 2020 14:47:29 GMT -5
I can't believe that we're now into November already. I honestly don't know where all the time goes. And, to be honest I really thought that this year would be a slow one with the way things are at the moment. Let's just hope that it gets a little better in the new year.
|
|
|
Post by Beady’s Here Now on Nov 1, 2020 18:19:22 GMT -5
I didn’t sleep last night, and as a result imbibed in a second coffee fairly late into the afternoon.
This will be regretted.
Beady, why do you do stupid shit?
|
|
|
Post by Beady’s Here Now on Nov 1, 2020 18:29:50 GMT -5
Honestly think I might kill myself soon. I know I've said this before, but it just keeps coming back. I just can't take any more of life giving me something to believe in, and then ripping it out of me and expecting me to carry on enthusiastically. I'm exactly where I started. No progress. Nothing. Just can't do it. Can't trust anything any more. Don't love my family because they remind me of previous pain. Everyone I've ever made a real friendship with has ripped my heart out. I hate my physical self, I'm sick of thinking my thoughts. Maybe it makes me weak but I honestly just think life is too cruel for me to handle and I'm not gonna be able to cope with it much longer. Mad to post this on an Oasis forum but I genuinely don't know what else to do right now. Not a fucking clue. Sorry everybody. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling so much - I can completely relate, in all honesty. And no, none of that makes you ‘weak’, and quite frankly I think it’s very strong to be opening up about the pain you’re currently experiencing. I’ve sought professional help for my various ailments, and over time, it helps significantly. And even at the beginning, sharing your thoughts with some one (as you did here), really helps lift a significant amount of burden off you shoulders. I originally called this concept bullshit, for how can just talking to someone do anything whatsoever? But it truly does work. This is all a process - and is about progress, not perfection. I strongly believe that incredible insight is gained on the other side of any adversity. Keep your head up mate, we will all get through this together.
|
|
|
Post by Manualex on Nov 2, 2020 0:47:52 GMT -5
Honestly think I might kill myself soon. I know I've said this before, but it just keeps coming back. I just can't take any more of life giving me something to believe in, and then ripping it out of me and expecting me to carry on enthusiastically. I'm exactly where I started. No progress. Nothing. Just can't do it. Can't trust anything any more. Don't love my family because they remind me of previous pain. Everyone I've ever made a real friendship with has ripped my heart out. I hate my physical self, I'm sick of thinking my thoughts. Maybe it makes me weak but I honestly just think life is too cruel for me to handle and I'm not gonna be able to cope with it much longer. Mad to post this on an Oasis forum but I genuinely don't know what else to do right now. Not a fucking clue. Sorry everybody. Never feel sorry about venting and putting words about how you feel about yourself. Ten years ago I wasnt in the right state of mind and had a panic attack when I was about to get out for the first time in ages with my old high school friends, I had to excuse myself from hanging out that day and found out that they started to talk things behind my back about how unreliable I was(tbf I wasnt in the best mood right then, but I was under a Accutane treatment, an acne medicine that fucks up what you might think about yorself), which meant my self steem was at a low point and then a relative who was young died in a shocking way and I wasnt the same anymore. I think it was right at the moment I deleted my first account in here and I just wanted to be alone. Which is alright, but sometimes you need people to know about your worries or needs. There's always someone to talk to whether is a shrink, a friend, a relative or just someone from here. You are not alone.
|
|
|
Post by Beady’s Here Now on Nov 2, 2020 11:46:58 GMT -5
Honestly think I might kill myself soon. I know I've said this before, but it just keeps coming back. I just can't take any more of life giving me something to believe in, and then ripping it out of me and expecting me to carry on enthusiastically. I'm exactly where I started. No progress. Nothing. Just can't do it. Can't trust anything any more. Don't love my family because they remind me of previous pain. Everyone I've ever made a real friendship with has ripped my heart out. I hate my physical self, I'm sick of thinking my thoughts. Maybe it makes me weak but I honestly just think life is too cruel for me to handle and I'm not gonna be able to cope with it much longer. Mad to post this on an Oasis forum but I genuinely don't know what else to do right now. Not a fucking clue. Sorry everybody. I must have read your post at least 20 times. And every time I read it, my eyes tear up for the immense pain you’re in, as well as relating to every single sentence. Our situation may be different, but the resulting pain is the same. I have pure empathy for you. I know I’m not your favorite member, but I will do anything to support you. Even PM me if you want. I want you to know that you’re not alone, and that I understand how you’re feeling - I’m right there with you.
|
|
|
Post by tiger40 on Nov 2, 2020 14:07:24 GMT -5
I really love connecting with nature as it's just so wonderful and beautiful. It's good for us too.
|
|
|
Post by The Escapist on Nov 2, 2020 15:46:34 GMT -5
Want to thank everybody for the messages, of course. This is an excellent community of excellent people and your messages did honestly get through to me just that little bit. I'm gonna go on a bit of a rant here, so bear with me: my heart got broken this week. Utterly ripped apart. A year of love and hope that I trusted to let into every inch of my heart was torn out without even a conversation. And I'm right where I was two years ago only this time with another horrific experience etched onto my life. But what it's taught me is that you have to have your first and foremost love coming from within.
For the first twenty years of my life I've got all my love from others. Family, friends, women, I needed them to adore me because I had no adoration for myself. I just had a black hole that needed others to feed. And at times like this when that love gets pulled away, in such a cruel fashion, you realise where you're going wrong. I'm gonna love myself, but I'm gonna earn it. I'm gonna sleep eight hours a day and write every single day and read every single day and I'm gonna eat healthy and exercise until I can't help but be proud of myself and love myself. And I'm gonna keep that love there with my own actions and anyone adding to it will just be a bonus. No-one will be able to take it away except myself. I'm gonna be kind and I'm gonna forgive myself and I'm gonna forgive life and forgive everyone who has hurt me. I'm gonna build a little tap of love inside myself so I don't need to draw from anyone else if I don't want to.
I'd like to thank the Coldplay song "O" for helping me with all this. I'd like to thank everyone here and I'd especially like to thank the Scottish comedian Limmy for helping me laugh last night with this amazing piece of advice:
People tell you to get help and they say they're all there for you, but sometimes that just doesn't fucking cut through. So I'll tell you what. If you feel like giving up, stick around. Stick around, to see what Simon Cowell's face looks like ten years from now. Cheers.
|
|
|
Post by joladella on Nov 3, 2020 1:41:50 GMT -5
I still cannot believe what's been happening in my city, Vienna! We even have been told to stay at home today, as apparently it's still not safe. To say nothing of the pandemic! Bloodiest of all bloody hells.
|
|
|
Post by mimmihopps on Nov 3, 2020 5:17:55 GMT -5
I still cannot believe what's been happening in my city, Vienna! We even have been told to stay at home today, as apparently it's still not safe. To say nothing of the pandemic! Bloodiest of all bloody hells. Stay strong and please do take care of yourself and your loved ones!
|
|
|
Post by joladella on Nov 3, 2020 5:45:08 GMT -5
I still cannot believe what's been happening in my city, Vienna! We even have been told to stay at home today, as apparently it's still not safe. To say nothing of the pandemic! Bloodiest of all bloody hells. Stay strong and please do take care of yourself and your loved ones! Thank you! It all feels still quite surreal. I know that part of the city very well, been there numerous times, shopping and going for a drink in the evening. It's literally the beating heart of our city. I know it should not make a difference, but that really hits home! I do feel for the victims, what a nightmare.
|
|
|
Post by theyknowwhatimean on Nov 3, 2020 10:15:39 GMT -5
Fuck! I just downloaded The Style Council's albums collected together in CD quality for £27.99 off Qobuz, not realising that, if I'd got The Complete Adventures of The Style Council instead for £1.50 less, I'd've got the albums PLUS non-album singles and B-sides; an extra two hours of music! What a clown I am. Never impulse buy.
|
|
|
Post by matt on Nov 3, 2020 10:28:00 GMT -5
Fuck! I just downloaded The Style Council's albums collected together in CD quality for £27.99 off Qobuz, not realising that, if I'd got The Complete Adventures of The Style Council instead for £1.50 less, I'd've got the albums PLUS non-album singles and B-sides; an extra two hours of music! What a clown I am. Never imulse buy.
Nonetheless, a great buy I'm sure. I'm not all that clued up on Weller (got a smattering of CDs of his from The Jam through to his solo days) but a shame that The Style Council seems to be massively overlooked. Bear in mind I've only got the Best Of, but it's a great listen.
|
|
|
Post by theyknowwhatimean on Nov 3, 2020 11:21:57 GMT -5
Fuck! I just downloaded The Style Council's albums collected together in CD quality for £27.99 off Qobuz, not realising that, if I'd got The Complete Adventures of The Style Council instead for £1.50 less, I'd've got the albums PLUS non-album singles and B-sides; an extra two hours of music! What a clown I am. Never imulse buy.
Nonetheless, a great buy I'm sure. I'm not all that clued up on Weller (got a smattering of CDs of his from The Jam through to his solo days) but a shame that The Style Council seems to be massively overlooked. Bear in mind I've only got the Best Of, but it's a great listen. I think their reputation has improved somewhat over the last two decades. Weller noted how critics were likening 22 Dreams when that album came out to Confessions of a Pop Group, the final Style Council album released while they were still together, for its sense of adventure. But in 1988 no one was saying Confessions was an adventurous record, just that it was shit. And then in the last five years or so some big name artists have namedropped them. Tyler, the Creator praised 'Long Hot Summer', and Alex Turner cited The Style Council as an influence on the second Last Shadow Puppets album. (And, unless there's another song I don't know about with the same name, that must be a reference to them on 'Star Treatment' off the last Arctic Monkeys album: "Jukebox in the corner... 'Long Hot Summer'")
That documentary that's just aired on Sky Arts Long Hot Summers: The Story of The Style Council is worth a watch. Informative and succinct, with some good talking heads. It has a nice ending too--though I won't say anymore than that.
|
|
|
Post by tiger40 on Nov 3, 2020 14:30:52 GMT -5
Autumnwatch is back for a second week on BBC2 tonight at 8pm. I wonder what we'll learn about wild animals this week. I love all the baby seals they're just so lovely and adorable at that age.
|
|
|
Post by Marissa on Nov 4, 2020 0:36:08 GMT -5
this is the beginning
|
|
|
Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Nov 4, 2020 8:47:48 GMT -5
Bazire so good Barty falls asleep. Hope the UK weren't hearing that, zzzz.
|
|
|
Post by tiger40 on Nov 4, 2020 14:13:36 GMT -5
I saw a really lovely little bird this morning and I don't know what it was. It was sat at the side of a roof so it wasn't that easy to get a good look. But I'm not sure if it was a British bird or a bird which had nargrated here for the autumn as some birds do this time of the year. Of course I had to stop and have a look at it for a minute but I've been racking my brain to try and find out what it was.
|
|
|
Post by defmaybe00 on Nov 4, 2020 15:36:14 GMT -5
Watching his posts on social media, your opionion doesn't surprise me He is just a rude bellend. He is 'famous' because of his brothers. Nobody is arsed about his photography. His interactions with people asking him genuine questions is just bizarre. Such a rude bloke. I remember him being a bit rude to my dad, he was doing a DJ set can't remember if it was before a Noel's gig or Beady Eye, we just laughed it off, but any time I see/hear something from him he just seems to lack all the charm of both his brothers, as c*ntish as they can be Also, he's not really helping himself with his tweets lately
|
|
|
Post by Jessica on Nov 4, 2020 19:12:23 GMT -5
Got woken up and a bit freaked out by the city doing their weekly test of the emergency system this afternoon. Of all the days it could have fallen on... And then just now saw someone walking their cat on a leash in the park.
|
|
|
Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Nov 5, 2020 2:17:57 GMT -5
Was looking for something else:
|
|
|
Post by tiger40 on Nov 5, 2020 14:39:38 GMT -5
I saw a really lovely little bird this morning and I don't know what it was. It was sat at the side of a roof so it wasn't that easy to get a good look. But I'm not sure if it was a British bird or a bird which had nargrated here for the autumn as some birds do this time of the year. Of course I had to stop and have a look at it for a minute but I've been racking my brain to try and find out what it was. I still haven't found out what that bird I saw yesterday was and I doubt I will now which is a shame as I would love to know. On a more serious note on Autumnwatch last night they were pushing for hedgehogs as they're now critically endangered with only less than a million left in the wild. This is just so sad but it's been going on for a good few years now.
|
|
|
Post by Beady’s Here Now on Nov 5, 2020 20:06:02 GMT -5
Surely there’s more probability that aliens exist, than there is a God. 🤔
|
|
|
Post by Beady’s Here Now on Nov 5, 2020 20:10:46 GMT -5
I always thought being a dual citizen as only a luxurious privilege - which it still is - but now also doubles its cause as self-preservation.
|
|
|
Post by Elie De Beaufour 🐴 on Nov 5, 2020 22:55:39 GMT -5
At this rate (and I'm not suggesting that he does it) Bjorn Goop will run around Solvalla before Nevada results are in.
|
|