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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2016 17:55:43 GMT -5
You know, theyknowwhatimean , you shouldn't really jump to conclusions like that. While I agree with you that there's many vile people and posts on the internet, which I have myself encountered as well, you shouldn't forget how easy it is to misunderstand things when communicating with people online. And how, not just online, but in real world, things can go all wrong and backfire, even if you had the best of intentions. It's happened to me bunch of times, admittedly being mostly my fault, but I sincerely hope that you never find yourself in a situation like that, although, maybe then you'd understand it all a bit better. It's always lovely to see anyone who's struggling that's getting better, and people should never lose hope, that's what I say. EDIT: Obviously, anyone who is pretending to help others exclusively to gain profit solely for himself/herself (whether it's money or social network followers) is disgusting! I can't remember what I wrote on the last page, so maybe my post ended up sounding more cynical than I meant it to, but what I was trying to say was that it was nice to see something good actually be done through the internet. The internet is undoubtedly an incredible thing, through which humanity has infinite opportunities to change itself for the better; but I feel like a lot of the time, people (when they aren't being awful in YouTube comments sections and all that, like you say) only spend a lot of time talking about things that are broken and what should be done to fix them, and never actually take it beyond that - beyond just being talk. For instance, in the wake of the tragedies in Paris last year, I remember seeing countless selfies of young, pouting women showing off the little blue, white and red bands they'd coloured onto their wrists or foreheads to "show solidarity with Paris". Now, I know I'm not helping my 'I'm not a cynic! Honest!' case here, and obviously, I want to make it known I'm NOT arguing against people's rights to express their sorrow over atrocities such as they were in any which way they choose ("the big enemy of the world is apathy", after all), but it's hard not to see those kind of things as just being a show people put on on social media to gain followers or - I dunno - however people choose to justify to themselves their heavy usage of those sites. But with this example, the man behind the tomlivesforever account has obviously decided he's going to reach out to the lad on here that calls himself dyinglight94; and now, the two are all set for a night out seeing a great band, that, all going well, they'll remember with fondness for the rest of their lives. Two people of completely different ages and personalities and circumstances (I would imagine), who don't even live in the same country, meeting up to hopefully give the lad who's had such a tough time of it, a chance to enjoy himself. THAT'S what the internet can achieve, when it's resources are fully taken advantage of. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not pretending I'm all high and mighty. I spend my fair share of wasted hours on here, moaning about the politics of my country (amongst other things), instead of actually doing anything about them. I mean, I don't even go on marches. I'm a total fraud really, after all this I've just written. But can you see what I was trying to say, a bit more? I don't at all think the internet is a bad thing, or that most who use it are horrible people (woe betide us if we were, because nearly half of half the world's population use it now), just that it largely proves to not be as practical a force for good as much as it could and probably should. I'll reply to you tomorrow when I'll have more time; it just a hit a sore spot but now I understand better what you wanted to say.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 16:54:11 GMT -5
OK; apologies to mods for going a bit off topic but just to reply to this post... And I'm sorry if I came of a bit patronizing towards you last night - it was quite late and I was revising, anyway - my mind wandered somewhere else when I first read your post so now I get where were you getting at. Those are all valid arguments, and mostly ones I can agree with. The whole craziness (for the lack of a better term) that ensues on social networks after such tragic events (Charlie Hebdo springs to mind) is kind of annoying, but I don't think that's ever going to change - that's just in people's nature. Like I said before, I don't doubt it all that there are people who post such things solely because they want to appear socially conscious or empathetic, or whatever... But on the other hand, what can an ordinary person do in such situation? If you're in, say, another country, and as it happens you are quite sensitive about a certain issue - a post, comment or a like is a natural reaction in today's world. Sometimes you aren't in a position to do anything more. Talking might not seem much, but it is important too, if you want to raise awareness about something or just simply express your opinion. Anyway, my main point was - there are people who truly care and aren't doing it just for the show. It would be sad if it weren't like that. I've never met you IRL so I can't comment on the whole 'fraud' thing, but many of your posts on here seem well thought out and written, whether they're on political issues or Doctor Who. Once again, sorry for steering off topic! And naturally, have fun at the concert guys!
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Post by Flatulence Panic on Jul 9, 2016 18:55:17 GMT -5
All Alone Is All We Are.
I once met a bloke who lived above a pub and listened to a Nirvana tape pretty much on repeat for 5 years of his life... The most out and out positive person I've ever met.
We must have died a long long time ago, who knows not me. We never lost control.
Live Forever lonely souls.
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Post by Flatulence Panic on Jul 9, 2016 18:59:54 GMT -5
dyinglight94 you are a light that never goes out inside of me... God bless your soul and wish you the best for your future.
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Post by theyknowwhatimean on Jul 9, 2016 19:47:02 GMT -5
OK; apologies to mods for going a bit off topic but just to reply to this post... And I'm sorry if I came of a bit patronizing towards you last night - it was quite late and I was revising, anyway - my mind wandered somewhere else when I first read your post so now I get where were you getting at. Those are all valid arguments, and mostly ones I can agree with. The whole craziness (for the lack of a better term) that ensues on social networks after such tragic events (Charlie Hebdo springs to mind) is kind of annoying, but I don't think that's ever going to change - that's just in people's nature. Like I said before, I don't doubt it all that there are people who post such things solely because they want to appear socially conscious or empathetic, or whatever... But on the other hand, what can an ordinary person do in such situation? If you're in, say, another country, and as it happens you are quite sensitive about a certain issue - a post, comment or a like is a natural reaction in today's world. Sometimes you aren't in a position to do anything more. Talking might not seem much, but it is important too, if you want to raise awareness about something or just simply express your opinion. Anyway, my main point was - there are people who truly care and aren't doing it just for the show. It would be sad if it weren't like that. I've never met you IRL so I can't comment on the whole 'fraud' thing, but many of your posts on here seem well thought out and written, whether they're on political issues or Doctor Who. Once again, sorry for steering off topic! And naturally, have fun at the concert guys! Yeah, that is where my argument falls down. "...many of your posts on here seem well thought out and written, whether they're on political issues or Doctor Who." Of course! When we're talking about stuff like politics and Doctor Who, and Bowie and Liam's hair - you know, the stuff that really matters - you can't mess around. That shit's serious.
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Post by Flatulence Panic on Jul 10, 2016 14:23:41 GMT -5
I'm older than I wish to be. This town holds no more for me. All my life I try to find another way. I don't care for your attitude. You bring me down I think you're rude. All my life I try to make a better day.
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Post by Flatulence Panic on Jul 10, 2016 16:46:29 GMT -5
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Post by Flatulence Panic on Jul 15, 2016 20:10:20 GMT -5
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Post by dyinglight94 on Oct 15, 2016 13:44:23 GMT -5
Hi everyone. Sorry for not typing anything out on this thread for a while. I'd come up with a better excuse for not doing so, but the complete honest truth is that I'm just lazy. Anyway...I'll try not to drone on for too long, and just post a bit of an update. I don't know if thomaslivesforever posted about on this forum or anything, but the Roses trip was great. I really enjoyed myself, and it was fantastic to see them live, as well as to meet Tom in person. I apologise for being a bit awkward at times dude, as well as not drinking too much! (I'm not much of a drinker ha). My father said he'd love to meet you again some time down the line. He really enjoyed talking politics with you ha. Hope you got the Northern Ireland flag in the post okay, and I hope that you enjoyed your stay here, as well as had a good a time as I had. I often think of that day, and it brings a nice smile to my face, which is pretty hard to do, so thank you. Considering the past few summers and the like, this one wasn't too bad I guess. I seen Noel Gallagher and his High Flying Birds in Belfast, which was a great show. I was pretty much near the front ha! I went with my brother. It was a birthday present for me. I don't really like my birthday, but we both had a blast. Noel is as great live as ever. My mother however has been in a bit of a bad way. She was meant to go to London with me in September (her paying my way of course), but her father is very ill. We live 80 miles away from her parents (who live quite near the border on a farm just outside a small village named Aughnacloy). Basically, to try and make this short, my grandfather who is 70+ years of age suffers from diabetes. Over the years, he hasn't really taken care of himself too well. I won't go into too much details as I'm considering his privacy, but she's in a horrible way about it. I guess she feels guilty that she isn't there, and lives so far away. I suggested me and her see Supersonic together, as it was actually showing for 3 days at a cinema in a town named Coleraine about 8 miles from here. You may laugh at this friendless 22 year old nobody going to a cinema with his mother, but it's cool to me ha. We both loved Supersonic, especially me. To hear that story told in so much detail, as well as to hear the Liam-sung version of 'Sad Song' was pretty great. She's holding up okay about her father, but I overheard her stating to my sister down the phone that she fears he'll be dead in the next year or so. As for me, I'm back at college, 2 days a week on a Tuesday and a Thursday down 50+ miles in Belfast from 9am - 5pm. I forgot how shite it is getting the 6.15am train ha. I just hope to pass this course. To be honest, I don't like the classmates, and they don't like me. Long story there. I hate group work too, but I just hope it's a step closer to where I want to be. I'm still unemployed, though had a few interviews here and there. I have one on Monday, so I hope that goes well. My trip to Glasgow, Scotland is soon. I'm a bit worried travelling solo but once I meet up with an old acquaintance (I think I wrote about on the last post or so), I think I'll be okay. I'm seeing The Wailers (Bob Marley's former backing band) live, and attending the TV taping of WWE RAW, which I'm looking forward to. The exact day I come back by plane, me and my brother are going to see the band Jimmy Eat World in Belfast, which should be good. My mum bought me and her Coldplay tickets for Dublin next year, so I hope to live to see them. I'm still in a bit of a bad way, especially with the loneliness and being friendless and all. Most days, it's hard to get out of bed when there's nothing to live for or do and such. I still cry quite a lot, and fail to see the point in carrying on living, especially being socially isolated, being useless, hardly doing much, and such. I keep trying to carry on though, hard as it is. I've recently went four months without self-harming. I've also recently quit smoking cigarettes, and I had my last five weeks ago tomorrow. It was hard affording them on £200 student finance every 2 weeks anyway. When I'm at college on Tuesday, I'm planning on quickly going to HMV (a bit of a walk away) when I finish to buy the 'Be Here Now' reissue ha. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I'm sorry I took so long. Hope all of you are keeping well, and I hope to update this again. Thanks - Luke.
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Post by Mean Mrs. Mustard on Oct 15, 2016 15:31:00 GMT -5
dyinglight94 Hey look at you! These last few posts have been in such a different tone than your first ones here! I'm so glad to hear you've enjoyed yourself a few times and to hear you've got some fun activities ahead of you! Also good to hear you so optimistic about finding a job and your study, despite not liking your classmates that much. That's some big steps, Luke! I'm sorry about your mom. I know it's hard, certainly with your own problems, but it's very important to try and be there for her and comfort her, but it sounds as if you do. Not only will that make her feel better and supported, but when your grandfather dies, that will give you a sense of closure too. Just the fact that you know you've helped your mom as much as possible. Also, who cares if you enjoy spending time with your mom? That doesn't make you pathetic. The important thing is that you both enjoy it. Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.
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Post by dyinglight94 on Oct 17, 2016 7:31:57 GMT -5
dyinglight94 Hey look at you! These last few posts have been in such a different tone than your first ones here! I'm so glad to hear you've enjoyed yourself a few times and to hear you've got some fun activities ahead of you! Also good to hear you so optimistic about finding a job and your study, despite not liking your classmates that much. That's some big steps, Luke! I'm sorry about your mom. I know it's hard, certainly with your own problems, but it's very important to try and be there for her and comfort her, but it sounds as if you do. Not only will that make her feel better and supported, but when your grandfather dies, that will give you a sense of closure too. Just the fact that you know you've helped your mom as much as possible. Also, who cares if you enjoy spending time with your mom? That doesn't make you pathetic. The important thing is that you both enjoy it. Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be. Thank you so much.
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Post by mimmihopps on Oct 17, 2016 8:39:18 GMT -5
Hi Luke, thank you for letting us know how you've been up to. Great to hear about meeting up with tomlivesforever and seeing The Roses with him, seeing Supersonic with your mum (why not with your mum? I took my other half to see this documentary. He's not even an Oasis fan, but he liked the doc), going to college, applying a job and all that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather and about your mum feeling bad, but you do care for your mum. Be there for her to support her.
You know, we're all lonely creatures. Some of us act so hard not to show our weekness and some don't. I still cry a lot when I think of my late mother. There's nothing wrong to cry a lot, when you cry, you cry and when it stops, stand up and step forward. Life goes on. Nobody is useless. Even we don't know you in person, there's a lot of people read and replied in this thread.
Enjoy Be Here Now and when you have time and when you feel like to post, come around and say hi. Our door is open and there's always somebody inside to catch you up.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2016 13:30:25 GMT -5
Don't know if I should post it here or not, but I never really talked to anyone about this and seeing how everyone in this forum is, I don't see why not. Well, here it goes... I can't really say I am depressed now, but I can't say things are normal either. You know, the feeling of discouragement when you wake up is part of it; but I've to say that this ain't a great part of it, as I study and think that I simply cannot leave everything and say "screw it all". Unfortunately, one of the reasons why I don't do that isn't exactly nice. So, recently, my mom discovered that she has a huge problem and she'll have to surgically remove her uterus this Monday. To make things worse, my father left home when she most needed, and now my brother and me need to take care of her - which isn't bad at all as we always got along well. What makes the situation so... damned, to say, is how everyone is mentally weak by now. I'm old enough to leave home and live by myself, but I never did because I always felt like I couldn't leave my mother alone, as my father isn't exactly the best example of father nor husband. He doesn't drink, but's been lying a lot to us recently and cheated on my mom, also losing his job and acting like a total dick with us as if he never needed us - and oh, look! In 2010 he had an accident and had to fucking open his damn skull 'cause it was bleeding and medics had to operate him, and the only ones who were by his side were us. In 2012, he had a heart attack and we. Still. Were. There. Anyway, as I said, everyone is mentally weak right now, and... everyone's counting with me to carry on. I was never one of hugging, but every week I need to do so because they need to feel that I'm still there for them. I listen to what's bothering them and have to pull them all up, as we all are having a bad time. But unfortunately, I have no one I can do this; I mean, whenever I tried to vent my problems with them, I felt like I was putting more weight to their mental burden and it didn't feel right. Heh, it's a bit funny that what keeps me going is exactly the fact that they need aid, even though I can't bring them enough of it. I never felt like I was good enough at this, but right now, I can't deal with this feeling; my family needs me, and they're only doing so because I'm the last resort. Nobody wanted to help them because they think it's my mother's fault, but I know it's not because I've seen everything. And... well, nobody ever saw my brother crying as he never did it after turning into an adult; but I did. And it wasn't for a happy reason, as I still remember that he clinged to me like a lost child when I was the one who did so when I was younger. ... Thanks a lot. I need to stop writing bigass texts about personal stuff. Still feels weird writing here considering that I just got here and... well, I just got here. Nobody knows me and I try to talk about things like they're the most normal thing in the world so, uhh, I apologise for being annoying.
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Post by Mean Mrs. Mustard on Oct 21, 2016 14:46:20 GMT -5
Being annoying? Apologizing? No way.
You can ALWAYS share your struggles on this forum. There's always someone who will listen and support you.
It seems like you're under a lot of pressure. It's a big dilemma. On one hand you want them to be happy, but you want to be happy as well, and you think you can accomplish that by moving out, but at thr dame time you're afraid they'll get worse or get mad at you for leaving and it makes you feel egotistical, am I right?
Other people aren't responsible for your happiness, well, they are partially, but you're mainly responsible yourself. Your family being in a bad state CAN'T be a reason for you to stay, if you'd rather want to move out. It could also be good for you to move out or stay somewhere else for a while if you're not ready for such a big step. What about other family members?
Also, are you still in school? College? Is there some sort of counselor who you could talk to?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2016 16:03:40 GMT -5
Being annoying? Apologizing? No way. You can ALWAYS share your struggles on this forum. There's always someone who will listen and support you. It seems like you're under a lot of pressure. It's a big dilemma. On one hand you want them to be happy, but you want to be happy as well, and you think you can accomplish that by moving out, but at thr dame time you're afraid they'll get worse or get mad at you for leaving and it makes you feel egotistical, am I right? Other people aren't responsible for your happiness, well, they are partially, but you're mainly responsible yourself. Your family being in a bad state CAN'T be a reason for you to stay, if you'd rather want to move out. It could also be good for you to move out or stay somewhere else for a while if you're not ready for such a big step. What about other family members? Also, are you still in school? College? Is there some sort of counselor who you could talk to? sorry for the long wait, my post in the personal thoughts thread pretty much sums up what happened lmao well, it's not that I want to leave them. I always wanted to take them somewhere better as we don't have many options here. My brother always had his dreams, but my mom has arthritis and couldn't finish her studies, so she doesn't have a lot of options left. Since the first fight between my parents that I saw, I swore that I'd make my own life somewhere and take my mom with me there to live a better life (I know, cliché as fuck, but it's real). What is bothering me is that I have no one to talk about my problems and everyone always comes to ask for my help, even outsiders. I can't really complain since, as I said, I'm a "closed shell" and always fear being a bother to other people. As for other family members, my two aunts (sisters of my mom) talk to her from times to times through the cellphone as we live far from the entire family. You see, my mother's family has the history of divorced women as no one has ever been married until the end of their lives, or because the husband died young, or because he was a complete motherfucker. As for studies, I'm in a "semicollege" kind of thing. Not exactly college, but not necessarely mandatory to be able to work around here. As for counselours, we don't have such here; colleges pretty much tell you to go fuck yourself here, and when it has something to help, it's part of a project made by Psychology students and not by the college itself. Back where I lived (we moved to a different town recently; we lived in the capital, which had over 5 million inhabitants, and now live in a fuckyfuckingholyfuckit'sthatfuckingsmall town with less than 25 thousand inhabitants), there were plenty of projects like these; now, there ain't a single one.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2016 11:37:45 GMT -5
I think I'm officially going crazy now. These days everything just feels like it's going by in godspeed and I feel like I can't grasp what's going on; on top of it all, my mom's going to operate tomorrow and I can't talk about this to anyone. The only thing they noticed is how little I'm eating these days and I don't even know how to explain what's happening as I myself don't understand. You see, my stomach is pretty much being a motherfucker with me these days. Whenever I feel hungry, I can put whatever food in my mouth and suddenly it will flip upside down and I won't be able to eat it completely or else I'll have a terrible pain. I'm having weird tachycardia moments and I suddenly feel like panicking but I don't let it look like it's happening, so pretty much I have to leave whatever the place I am at the moment running to go to the bathroom or I'll flip into panic mode in front of everyone. Feels like I'm under the influence of something, but I don't fucking take anything, not even pain medication - although I do need to, as I'm feeling pain every single day for no reason at all. My mom often asks what's going on and I just shut myself because she can't be worried right now about something else but it justs overwhelms me so fucking much fuck. On top of it all, I'm having anxiety pans out of everywhere. I hate to bite my nails and fingers but these days it's one of the things I'm doing the most. So much they hurt when I press them. And there's a bite mark in my thumb that pretty much is wounded and bleeding almost everyday. I don't know what to do. It's happening every week by now, but today it got worse
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2016 12:14:15 GMT -5
Finally calmed down. Hope it doesn't happen tomorrow.
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Post by idleroses on Dec 12, 2016 5:58:57 GMT -5
A local lad in my area took his own life last week. I didn't know him but I would know the rest of the family and they are heartbroken, a 21 year old lad took his own life due to the anguish in his mind.
IF anyone ever feels that suicide is their only option please talk to someone, life IS worth living.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2016 14:12:35 GMT -5
I get depressed but then I think, no-one really gives two fucks about why im feeling down so in that case why should I? Im not going to be here forever so fuck it, lets roll to a tune. when your going through hell, stroll on through and tell em to fuck off.
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Post by mimmihopps on Dec 12, 2016 14:32:05 GMT -5
I get depressed but then I think, no-one really gives two fucks about why im feeling down so in that case why should I? Im not going to be here forever so fuck it, lets roll to a tune. when your going through hell, stroll on through and tell em to fuck off. I don't get depressed, but I do have a friend who's been suffering it since her parents died. She and I have been good friends for so many years and it gives me a pain in my heart to see her suffering. She's lived and worked in London and New York and has always been cheerful. I want to see her smile and want her to be happy, want her to enjoy her life instead of sitting in her flat all alone. We haven't seen each other for nearly 5 years, but a couple of months ago she emailed me to tell me that she started to listen to music again and goes out now and then. I don't give my hopes up and I don't leave my good friend alone. We're born alone and die alone, but we can't live alone. Everybody needs somebody to talk with, to laugh with and to live with. Just like the OP of this thread, it helps to talk with someone, even if with random completely strangers like us on here. Life can be miserable and harsh, but it's worth living.
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Post by oasisserbia on Dec 12, 2016 18:39:19 GMT -5
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